My beautiful mum died 3 years ago! As I was driving to work this morning the song we played at her funeral ‘What a wonderful world’ started playing on the radio, and a flock of white cockatoos  (mums favourite birds) flew by raucously.

Life definitely isn’t the same without Mum. I miss her smile, her hug, her powerful presence and the undeniable pull that I had to see her every week.  Even though she sometimes drove me nuts with her judgements and beliefs from another age, the connection we had was deep and real and it shaped me more than anything else.

The bottom line is that when I was a child my mum was there for me and I never, ever doubted it. This deep knowing set me up with an inner worth that I have never questioned. It’s not that she told me how amazing I was, how clever, how beautiful, how savvy – none of that. Even the words I love you were as rare as hens teeth in my family.

But the precious gift that my mum gave me was her presence! She saw me!!! She heard me!!! She acknowledged me for who I was. 

It wasn’t about praising me for my accomplishments, (although I sensed she was proud of me), but I always felt she was truly there for me, that she would always be there for me…. and she always was … until the day she softly slipped away.

And every now and then when the cockatoos squark or the song plays on the radio my heart bursts open once again for this simple yet remarkable woman who touched my heart and soul and shaped me to my core.

To all the mothers out there, and all the children, no matter how old you are, give the gift of your PRESENCE this mothers day. It is the most nourishing thing to receive and it is the most nurturing thing to give … for both you and your mum … and your kids!
It is your presence that gives warmth and deep connection and it creates a healthy loving  foundation for relationships for your kids for the rest of their lives.